A trio of visually challenged mice, a trio of visually challenged mice

Watch ‘em bleedin’ scarper, Watch ‘em bleedin’ scarper

Each of ‘em wanted to go for glory

A mouse PM, an amazing story !

Lasted a week, they opted for tory

The three challenged mice       

SECOND:

Three blind mice, stuck in the rice

Mum came to see, said ‘Where is our tea?’

‘We just couldn’t move’ said the little one

‘We wanted our pudding but it had gone…

We shouted for dad but he sang us a song…

Called ‘Three blind mice ‘

Tom-Tom, the tweeter’s son

Tweeted tweets that were too long

More than 140 innit

So they went and upped the limit.

SECOND:

Tom, Tom the piper’s son

Bred a pig which weighed a ton.

The Tories found out and taxed its snout

‘Cos Eton didn’t teach what it’s all about !

Mary Mary got quite hairy

How long should she let it grow?

Out of her nose

Down to her toes?

Along the pavement? No.

SECOND:

Mary, Mary played in a dairy

Dancing with all the cows.

The cows got dizzy

Put Mary in a tizzy

‘Cos Toms now there with all his sows ‘

Oh, the sad old Duke of York

Had umpteen teddy bears.

He played with them around the house

And sometimes up the stairs.

His servants put them straight

Whenever he went to bed

And if they were only half way straight

He’d enjoy chopping off their head.

SECOND:

Oh the Randy Duke of York

He liked the sweet young girls

He couldn’t sweat, liked pizzas yet …

Of money he had none.

So when he was up he was up

But suddenly he was down

So off he went to mummy dear

“Please let me have your crown”

Wee Willie Winkie had a desperate mission

Being ‘King of the World’ became his life’s ambition

Lying through the window, dying in a ditch

Business Meetings, wine and cheese

More wine and wine, that’s rich.

SECOND:

Wee Willie Winkie ran through the town..

He didn’t have his cap on .. or his nightgown!

He knocked on all the windows, He shouted through the locks.. ‘

Where did I leave my clothes please ? I’ll soon be in the docks !’

Little Liz Muffet, she sat on a tuffet

Weaving a cunning plan

She wrecked all the money

and thought it was funny

As only a tory can.

SECOND:

Little Miss Muffet replaced her tuffet

( The spider had made such a mess )

The new one was wooden

Bits got in her ‘pudden’

And damaged her pretty new dress’

Raab Raab black sheep, do you treat staff well?

Yes sir, yes sir, as far as I can tell

That’s not what I’ve heard, they say you’re a bully

We’ll investigate you further, comprehensively and fully.

SECOND:

Baa, Baa black sheep hadn’t any wool,

There’d been a little incident with Old McDonalds bull !

So .. there was none for the master and none for the dame,

But lots for Old McDonald, who farmed down the lane.

I had a little nut job,

Little did she care

Truss in her was absent

Competence was rare.

Wonderful pork markets

But cheese was a disgrace

How I’d like to slap

That smiley little face.

SECOND:

I had a little nut tree, But do you really care?

It didn’t have a nut on it.. It made me want to swear!

I keep it for a year or two, until it grew a beard .

But then I saw it had no roots …. Just as I had feared.